It is so incredibly tiring and discouraging to fight for what should be such a simple, fundamental right - my right and my children's right to seek therapy for unwanted same-sex attractions.
I get so tired of people telling me I must just be lying to myself, that if I would just accept my attractions as normal I would be happy and that therefore I shouldn't even try to reduce them. To have so many people literally say "you couldn't have really changed", "you're just fooling yourself", or "how hateful of you to say that you've changed - don't you care about people who will get hurt because they can't change?" has been incredibly de-motivating and has posed a significant obstacle to my continued progress. But I've never been one to back down.
When I was 17 years old, my Dad and I went to a high-adventure scout camp together. One of the days we participated in a mountain bike ride and the leader told us that if we made it to the top of a specific hill without stopping, he would give us a package of starburst candies. I didn't really care so much about the candies - but I wanted to beat that challenge. It was a very long, very steep hill. I had to shift down to the easiest gear, so I was barely inching forward. But I didn't stop. I didn't get off. I made it to the top. My dad later commented on how he was so impressed at how determined I was.
This fight is playing out in a similar way. Very hard and slow going. But I’m not going to give up.
Finally, after many months of feeling alone even within my own faith community, an article was published in Meridian Magazine talking about how difficult it is for people like me to get our stories heard. As I read through it, I literally started sobbing. All the hurt from being ignored and feeling alone just came out. I had thought for a long time that mainstream society had become so intolerant and like a bully to people like me. Finally someone else writing from a well read source was hearing me and respecting my story and agreeing with me about the bullying that is going on.
"One may think that kind of behavior goes away with adulthood, but it turns out, it doesn’t. Instead, when you’re an adult, exclusion is used to enforce obedience to political dogma."
"It is time our culture acknowledges the experience of those who have successfully changed their feelings of same-sex attraction and embrace an inclusivity free from a stifling political correctness that vilifies those who choose alternate paths to wholeness. If society really cares for those who identify as LGBT, it will honor the right to choose ethical therapy to address unwanted same-sex attraction and will not shut out those voices nor make access to such therapies illegal. As a country, we are so much better than that."
No child or adult should be forced into a goal for therapy that they do not want. No child or adult should be denied a goal of therapy that they desire. To do so is inhumane, discriminatory on the basis of sexual orientation, and is wrong.
Do we really believe that the idea of even some change is so dangerous that we should shout down and silence those who have changed, and deny their very existence?